Sunday, October 9, 2011

Fall and its accompanying themes

Secretly, I love fall.  Well, I suppose it's not so secret now.  I absolutely adore summer, love spending time at home and having that brief three months of stay-at-home wife and mommyhood.  But there is something about fall, the first day of sweater and jeans, the boots, the pumpkins, the hot coffee on a cool day, and of course, the leaves.  As a child, I can remember the excitement and anticipation of receiving the JC Penney catalog in the mail, its crisp pages full of happy-looking preteens wearing Levis and a striped hooded sweatshirt, with a backpack nonchalantly thrown over a shoulder.   I remember deciding which pages to dog-ear.  These were such important decisions.  The first day of school outfit was always the best one of the year.

Having a son has made fall even more wonderful.  Seeing pumpkins and jack o lanterns through his eyes makes them even more magical.  But, for us, fall comes with some some other baggage.  My little guy was born in the fall, October 26th, 2009.  I was overcome with love for my baby, but it's no secret I had some baby blues.  I remember sitting on my couch holding him and thinking I would never, ever get to go on a trip to Target again, much less sleep through the night.  However naive, I truly thought he might wake up once or twice a night.  I had no idea how exhausted I would feel.  I saw smiling mothers as I drove up to collect my groceries (that's right, drove.  I couldn't even manage the grocery store -- I paid five bucks for someone to do my shopping and I just went to pick them up), and I wondered what the hell they must be on, because there was no way this was any fun at all.  At first I had major guilt about this time period, and I still have a little if I'm being honest, but I think it was necessary for me to go through; for a major control freak, having this little being that would poop, pee, or scream without asking for permission was a big catalyst into the reality we adults know as "You Really Can't Control Anything And The Sooner You Realize It The Saner You'll Be."

Once it seemed like I had gotten my proverbial crap together, that crap hit the fan again in the sense that it would never come out.  Mason's constipation began at around 3 months and never. went. away.  The next sense months were a blur of doctor's offices as my husband and I tried to explain that this child, yes this child who is sitting here laughing at you is really sick.  For real.  He doesn't eat like he used to.  Yes, we know he is huge and has fat rolls, but he used to eat a lot more.  Poor Mason got those unfortunate looks from the doctors saying, "I'm sorry you have insane parents, you cute little fat baby."  When fall made its rounds again, Mason had already had his colostomy and we were waiting for the permanent take down.  Waiting as in wishing the time would go into warp speed like in Star Wars and you could zap into the future.  November 16th was his surgery date, so we wished away September and October as we changed bags and prepped skin.  Not a fun fall at all.

But now it's back!  And we have no bag, no surgery, and no constipation!  Yahooo!     Fall is even more fun than even I anticipated it could be, and a I have a really bad habit of romanticizing everything, especially holidays -- like the whole family will go on a reindeer pulled sleigh sipping hot chocolate and then come home and open one gift on Christmas Even, which just happens to be matching pajamas that we all wear to bed and dream of sugar plum fairies.

Below are some of our fall adventures:


we love cows! 

Hiding a shy smile on the hayride

Our punkin! 

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